The girl named Lilly

The first time I heard of anyone cutting themselves was when I noticed a lot of the girls where I work wear long sleeves, even in warm weather. At that time I didn't know anything about cutting. I would ask "why are you wearing long sleeves in 75 degree weather?" I would always get the same answer, or rather non-answer: "I'm cold." It wasn't until I noticed someone who always wore sleeves, not wearing sleeves, that I saw the scars & cuts. Instead of sleeves, she wore several of those wide rubber bracelets that have become so popular recently as a cover up. I didn't understand the significance of it. I came home and told my wife of the girl who I will call Lilly. Marsha gave me the "911" about cutting. I was shocked! We prayed for Lilly.

I began to try to reach out to the girl who always wore black. She had black hair, black eyeliner, black lip color, etc. It seemed all she ever wore was black! Don't get me wrong, I wear black too sometimes everyday, but something was different about this girl. Every day I would note where she sat and who she was with. Then I would go over to her and say 'hi." I was met with resistance at first, mainly (my presumption is) because I'm a grown up in a young persons world. How could she know if she could trust me?  


I had mentioned Lilly to a co-worker, mainly to make it known she cut herself, was hurting, and needed help. The co-worker has the professional training to deal with these issues in teens, the co-worker seemed sympathetic but unwilling to "jump in" and do anything. That broke my heart and made me wonder if she had an alternative plan or did she really not care?


 As time went by Lilly began to trust me. She would would speak to me only if I spoke first. It was a huge breakthrough, because there were days she wouldn't even look up at me! I prayed for God to help me build a (Godly) relationship with Lilly because I new she was hurting on the inside. Thats why she was into self harm. If I could only give her a smile or a kind word or an ear to listen, maybe it would help her. I knew I couldn't "preach a 4 point sermon & give an alter call" to reach her. So I prayed for her each time I saw her & began to look for ways to reach her. She was very intelligent, so I would set with her for short periods of time and ask her questions, chat about music (OMGOSH! this kid listens to bands that are all about suicide, pain, darkness, and self harm!! I looked them up on Google...) or life at home. She has younger siblings, her parents are divorced so she is "shuffled" back and forth between them for weekends and holidays. Mom isn't remarried, but has a boyfriend... Sad.


I loved telling her: "Lilly you are valuable! Jesus loves you and so do I. You are a winner and you are gonna do great things!!!" I know she loved hearing it, and I know it will make a difference in her life because it was form The Holy Spirit.
Eventually she began to look for me and expect me to ask about her day, evening, and even her life. She would share some details but I could tell there was more that I wasn't privy to. 


She went through a time where her friendships were shifted (I believe our prayers for her caused that!) She began to separate herself from the group she was associated with. Over time a complete outward change took place. Lilly began to wear "regular clothes" (not all black & not long sleeves). Her face was full of joy - she has a beautiful smile! No more black eyeliner or black lips, she even let her hair go back to dark brown. Our time together grew to a close with the change of seasons, but we still communicate and I still tell her of God's unfailing love and peace. 


I believe The Lord orchestrated that relationship (and many others like it) and even though I never found out everything about Lilly and her inner struggles, or pain I know that she will always remember our discussions. 

And just like the Word of God says: "Some plant, some water, but God makes it grow."